Last night was a beautiful evening in Amsterdam. The day’s weather had been perfect, sunny and warm, and given that it was a Sunday too, everyone was out. I was enjoying myself with friends and acquaintances. We were sat along the bar at my local and chatting casually amongst ourselves. And then suddenly, an unstoppable force arrived. A woman stepped up, introduced herself, and started talking.
And talking.
And talking.
Friends’ faces said it all. Who is this lady, and is she completely crazy?
It wasn’t long before I was the only one left. Crazy lady was still talking and I was trying my hardest to be polite. But in a surprisingly short period of time all my patience was gone. One story about, something, segued into another about, nothing, and I just couldn’t take it.
“Excuse me, sorry to interrupt,” I said, holding up my hands in the universal ’stop’ gesture. “But what is the point of what you’re saying, and how should I react appropriately to it?”
“What? You don’t have to react. “ She said, confused.
“Ah, so then if my response isn’t important why are you telling me all this?” I inquired, impolitely.
“What? Oh, did I not mention that I just did a line of cocaine?” she asked.
“No, no you didn’t and may I suggest that you should start with that. The conversation is much easier to follow now that I know you’re on coke.”
“Really? Does it show?”
I explained it did. It really really did. I didn’t explain that everyone else had left to escape her chatter. Nor did I mention that the first impression of her was of a crazy lady. And we’re not talking “bungee jumping” kinda crazy.
As a parting idea, I choose to share some advice based on what she had been talking about. “Whatever you do,” I said,” Just don’t show up to your [upcoming] job interview on coke. Trust me on this.”
“Really?” She was incredulous to the idea. She couldn’t imagine that the cocaine wasn’t making her a better person, more desirable for hiring. She was sure that her stories were lighting up the room!
I shrugged. What could I tell her? Cocaine’s like that.
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